Alex sat alone on the Ravenclaw table. It was just turning 5am and no one was out of bed. But he was. He couldn't sleep even though he was exhausted, the dark rings under his eyes told everyone that he was having a tough time. But they didn't know the half of it. He swirled his breakfast around his plate having stopped eating again he hoped that he would just waste away. He sighed and rest his cheek in one hand while the other continued to play with his food. Alex was so close to tears it was untrue, but having no energy left he couldn't cry. There weren't enough hours in the day for himself. Serving the Dark Lord was a 24/7 task and he wasn't used to it. His heart ached in his chest as his ears replayed everything he had heard over the past few days. He and Gary were engaged. But deep in his chest he knew it wouldn't work. There was always a reason. Rose has captured him in her web of lies again and wasn't going to let him go. He heard everything and tried to pretend like it wasn't happening. But it did. It was. A single tear dripped off his nose and into his food. Why did she have to ruin everything? He buried his head in his hands. Glad that he hadn't slept. If anyone saw him now he wouldn't be able to hold it in. He wanted to stop feeling sorry for himself. To get on with his life. He tired to make people listen. He did. But they just moved on so quickly, Alex was soon left behind. 'I asked you to marry me for a reason' he thought to himself. But no one would hear him. Not now. Not ever. Alex, for the first time in a while, was more alone than anyone else in the world. He needed someone to really care about him. But there wasn't anyone left.

"I guess you heard everything," came a soft whisper from the door. Rose, still in her nightdress, was leaning against the wall, too nervous about how this situation would turn out to approach Alex just yet. The Hall was empty, and it was beautiful. While she wasn't ordinarily an early riser, preferring the feline philosophy of only waking up if there was something specific to do, she hadn't slept at all last night, and had been in the common room when Alex made his way down. This seemed like as good a time as any to explain herself. It was going to be difficult whenever she did it. She had her reasons, but to Alex, who didn't know her well, her methods would seem cruel. "Will you...let me explain?"

Alex looked up, too tired to argue. So he simply nodded. Explain what? The way she had kissed his boyfriend. Knowing full well that Alex would be able to hear. He turned back to his food and pushed it away. The bowl disappearing in an instant. He didn't look at Rose again, instead he hung his head in his hands. Willing himself not to cry. But it hurt so much. He could imagine the scene in his head. Them, together while he was awake in bed just listening.

Seeing him subdued and not attempting to shout at her or hit her, she went over to him and sat down next to him, placing her hand very lightly on his arm. His skin was cold, but, she supposed, so was hers. The whole room was cold; it was no surprise. "I knew you would hear, that's why I did it. Not for me. To show you. I know it must be hard to believe, but surely you can see from how I've behaved lately that I don't care about him. I do care about you, though, and I know what he's like. I don't mean to ruin all your dreams, but... He's said he was with his brother when he's disappeared before. It just makes me suspicious. And, well, I've just proved to you that he's not the most loyal of people. I thought you ought to know that from experience before...before you get in too deep." She sighed, hoping that she hadn't dug herself a bigger hole, and shifted a little closer to Alex on the bench.

"No. It's not true. It's not." he mumbled keeping his head down, too scared to look up. "You've taken him away from me. You wanted him, you told me. Now he's yours. Are you happy?" he asked, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't understand. Without him, I'll die," he sobbed brushing the tears from his eyes. "I'm a werewolf, Rose. We...we don't...we can't...change. It's Gary or nothing. No matter how much it might hurt,"

She shook her head, slipping her arm around his shoulders. "I haven't taken him and I don't want him. He wouldn't be worth fighting over, not to me anyway. I won't deny that I enjoyed it, because I did, but not because it was him. Because it was someone. Do you know how long it's been for me?" She bit her lip and rested her head against Alex's, very tempted to kiss his forehead. "That's not the point, though; I shouldn't be making you sympathise with me. He's yours, he's all yours, if you still want him. I think he always was."

"I waited sixteen years for someone like Gary. He's my first boyfriend and now the only person I'll ever be with. I do want him. But I don't want him either. He lied to me. He...he promised he loved me. Yet he was so easily distracted. So easily taken away. I love him. More that I could ever explain. But it hurts Rose. So much. That I'm so easily replaceable. But then again. I'm nothing special. I'm a crazy Death Eater werewolf. I don't deserve a boyfriend. Let alone one that I can trust."

"You know," she whispered, taking his hand between both of hers. "That's exactly how I feel. Nothing special. But you are, Alex, you are. Look at you - you're beautiful." Her voice caught as a lump formed in her throat and the familiar dull ache behind her eyes warned her that in a minute she might start to cry. "You even inspire love in people you hate. I could love you so easily, even though I know you would never be happy with me, simply because I am a woman. You... You deserve better. It sounds cliché, but it's true."

"I'm not!" he said quite loudly and suddenly, standing to his feet. "I'm not beautiful! Look at me! I'm a wreck. I haven't slept in days. I don't eat. I'm covered in scars and now..." he paused and became very quiet, "Now I don't have a heart because someone else has taken that away from me." He wanted to break down and cry - but that would require energy. Something he didn't have. "I'm nothing, Rose. I'm worthless and...and...not even my mother loved me." Alex fell to his knees sobbing his face covered by his hands. He wanted to die. More than anything. He'd never wanted that before...but now. Now he wanted it quickly. To get away from everything.

The sight of him like this pushed her over the edge and she couldn't stop the tears. "C-can't you see? I love you, Alex. I love you," she sobbed, dropping to her knees in front of him. "That's why I got angry, that's the reason I've done anything lately. That's why I get so upset that you believe all the lies about me, and why one sarcastic remark from you can keep me awake all night, leave me crying into my pillow. I know I can never change anything, but f*cking hell, I love you." It felt like such a guilty confession to make; it was horrible, it made her feel very sick to say it, sick right to her core, and it would probably make him feel equally nauseous to hear it. It needed to be said, either way.

Alex looked up, shocked. "No. You can't. You can't!" he said moving away from her. "You can't love me. " He felt like he was going to be sick. He just stared at the floor, willing himself not to throw up. But he was so close. "You love Sammael, Gary..." 'Anyone but me.' Alex stood shakily to his feet. "I'm sorry Rose. For whatever I did to deserve someone f*cking up my life and then telling me they love me," he said quietly, he didn;t mean for it to hurt her. Just to make her understand what he saw through her.

"I know, and I'm sorry!" she said, crying more vehemently now. "I'm so jealous of how happy you were! He took you to a clearing, he gave you everything you wanted. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to make you happy, and I just wish there was a world in which that was possible... But there's not. You mate for life, and not only that, you're gay." She felt so pathetic, kneeling on the floor with her face in her hands, sobbing and sobbing, unable to look up and face him. How could she? She didn't want him to see her like this.

Alex stepped forward and lifted Rose to her feet and pulled her into a tight hug. "I forgive you Rose. For everything, but you have to promise me that you will never touch him like that again. If you do I swear I will do something I won't regret." He sighed and resting his chin on the top of her head. She was on he last chance. He was in no mood to give her anything else.

She nodded, unable to speak, and breathed in his soft, reassuring smell; the smell she had dreamed about lately. It was enough for now, to know that he understood. He had such a big heart - she felt she would give anything to have even the smallest place inside it. Maybe he would miss her. Maybe. She doubted it. No one in their right minds would miss her dramas and her scenes. Then again, Alex wasn't exactly in his right mind. For now, she didn't want to think about that. If she kept hugging him, and he kept hugging her back, then just for a few, fleeting moments she could pretend.