Alex smile faltered slightly, "What are you thinking about?" he asked, wrapping his arms around Gary. It always worried him a little when Gary went quiet, just incase he was about to drop something on the whole situation. He sighed a little and nuzzled the nape of the boys neck.

Gary smiled, "I was thinking about what Edward told me at the Spring Ball, what convinced me to talk to you again. He said that no matter what had happened, you were still Alex." He smiled and rested his head ontop of Alex's. He sighed happily, staring up at the ceiling.

Alex smiled slightly, it all painfully hit him again. Gary not talking to him, the huge argument, Sammael, his first transformation. It all hurt so much, and it would never leave him. He would never forget any of it, which probably hurt the most. He nuzzled into Gary's chest, clinging on. He smiled and pressed his lips to the boys cheek. "Love you," he grinned.

Gary sighed and wrapped his arm around Alex, "I want to be there next time," he murmured, knowing that Alex wouldn't like it at all. "I want to be there when you transform," he said, turning to face Alex to show him that he was deadly serious. He almost felt like it was his duty to be there, to protect him from anything which might cause him harm, even himself.

"No, No way." Alex said sitting away from Gary, "You can't. I don't want you to see me like that. I can't." He whispered, his voice breaking towards the end. "I don't want you to see me so...so," He turned away from his boyfriend, ashamed, "ugly," he finished pulling his knees up to his chest.

Gary flinched at Alex's words. He had expected a reaction like this but not quite as bad. "Alex, you'll never be ugly to me," he said, grabbing ahold of his face between his hands. "Never say that you're ugly. I want to be there for you," he said softly. "Please let me be there, let me protect you."

"No!" Alex said sharply pushing Gary's hands away from his face. "I don't want you to be there. It'll hurt enough as it is without you being there, watching me. Watching me try and kill everything that moves. I don't want you to see that, for you to see me." He whispered and a few tears ran down his cheek. "I don't want you to see me as a monster."

Gary sighed, "Even if you don't let me, Alex, i'll still be there. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. You'll never be a monster to me, never." He placed his hand over Alex's heart, "I'm always in there, even if you don't want me to be. I'm never going to leave you again." He ran his hand up to Alex's cheek, cupping it into his hand.

Alex tried to turn his head from Gary, "Please. Don't come. I'm not strong enough to let you see me so different," he said. Puling Gary closer he pressed their lips together. "Please, I don't think I can do it. Maybe next time," he whispered. Nuzzling his face against Gary's chest, to try and hide. "Please," he begged, so quietly he wasn't sure if Gary had heard him.

Gary sighed and nodded slowly, "Ok... But remember that i am always here if you need me. I hate seeing you in pain and anything i could do to stop that pain, i will do." He smiled softly and stroked Alex's hair, trying to comfort him. He kissed his cheek, "I'm sorry that i asked..." he said, quietly.

"There's nothing to stop the pain. Only prolong it. I'm stuck as a monster, forever." He sighed and leant against Gary just to feel secure about something. This was all so new to him and it scared him. He sighed and took ahold of Gary's hand before he stood and got dressed. "Snape's making his way down here from the dining hall, we better go."

Gary sighed, "Now you know how i feel," he muttered, quietly, almost inaudiably, once again forgetting about Alex's power. He shook his head slightly and pulled on his clothes, before taking ahold of Alex's hand again. This was going to take time, for both of them.

Alex kissed Gary's cheek gently, "At least vampires can control their powers. Werewolves can't unless they are in full control of someone. That's why the Dark Lord has the right idea, he knows how to control us and point us in the right direction," Alex sighed and rubbed his arm absentmindedly, "That's why I think he's got more chance of winning than the ministry..." his voice faded a little as he heard footsteps at the top of the steps. Silently he pulled Gary out a back way and into the grounds of the castle. It was getting dark, but the sun was still up a little. Still preventing the moon to show.

Gary smiled coldly, "Not all of us can control ourselves," he said, thinking about Sammael. "The Dark Lord is bound to win this war. If we are forced to take sides then i will probably take his. I know my brother is a Death Eater and my father was one. It make sense for me to follow in their footsteps.... But for the time being i'm neutral." He wasn't sure why he was telling Alex all of this, but he had said it now. A small part of his mind was already begining to think, wondering if he would be able to control Alex at some point in the not-too-distant-future.

"Whatever you choose I am with you," Alex said quietly, taking the boys hand. "But, I might not wait until I am forced," he said quietly, "I think he is right, he maybe a bit hypocritical, but he has helped people as well as destroyed them, I think he has the right idea." Alex shrugged and took Gary hand and began walking around the hogwarts grounds, "My father was a Death Eater, so I should follow him. It's only right."

Gary nodded thoughtfully, "My brother would never look at me again if i didn't join with him. He will win. Whether good resides over evil or not, he has the upper hand." He smiled at Alex and squeezed his hand back, "I'm with you too, all the way. 'Till death do us put'," he said, smiling softly at him.

Alex blushed slightly and pressed his lips against Gary's. Kissing him slowly yet forcefully. Pulling away slightly he pushed some of Gary's hair out of his eyes. "The one problem would be...I'd be working for Greyback," the bitterness flowed off his tongue freely. But whatever it took he wouldn't let anyone down, so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as everyone thought. Besides, maybe Greyback was nicer to people on his own side.

Gary frowned at the name, "I don't like that wolf," he almost growled. "He was the one who decided it would be a good idea to kill my parents." His body tensed and he curled his hands into fists at his side. "Of course he didn't kill them himself, far too much of a risk, the coward," he snarled. He closed his eyes and took in several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. It wouldn't do to get angry with the smell of wolf in his nostrils.

Alex stepped back a little, scared as to what Gary might do, "I-i'm sorry, I didn't know," he said quietly, almost hanging his head in shame. But if they were to take the Dark Lord's side, the only person that would take Alex in would be Greyback. He sighed and pushed his hands into his pockets, the wind rushing around them made him shiver slightly, more from the eeriness than the cold. It hit him again that everytime Gary was near him he would be reminded of his parents, and the night they were killed. "I'm sorry," he repeated, quieter than before, but he meant it. He would always be like this to Gary, sorry that he got bitten, sorry his parents got killed by wolves, sorry he smelt horrible, sorry, sorry, sorry. Alex bit his lip and stared at the floor, ashamed.

Gary opened his eyes and looked at the pained expression on Alex's face. "Why are you apologising? It isn't your fault that my parents died. It isn't your fault that you got bitten. You have nothing to be sorry about." He smiled softly and stepped towards Alex, cupping his hot face inbetween his ice cold hands. "We'll make it work, no matter what," he breathed, placing a soft kiss on Alex's lips.